Powerful Questions for 2018 . . . Week 48

posted in: CYJ Blog, Lifeskills, Reflection | 0

With Christmas coming our way in December, let’s consider the set of questions for week forty-eight of 2018, challenging us with this month’s Reflection lifeskill. These questions are offered by Bob Tiede at At Leading With Questions, from wisdom leaders around the nation and world.*

*Source: Marc Chernoff’s list of questions,
Thought Provoking Questions to Ask Yourself in 2018.

Question 1: Who would you like to forgive?

I spent extra time reflecting on this question since I felt I had forgiven just about anyone I could think of. Yet, I found myself pondering something I thought was resolved years ago. My brother basically separated himself from my parents, sister, and myself. With our childhood abuse history, we experienced many other painful disagreements as adults. On several occasions when we tried to reconcile, he adamantly refused. He treated us for most of our adult lives like he didn’t have two sisters, even after our parents died.

It was only at this deathbed last year from kidney failure as an alcoholic he started calling and wanted to make it right. We did thankfully reconcile at the end. Yet, it was obvious his wife wasn’t going to offer any reconciliation herself. However, she did allow us to come to my brother’s memorial celebration in her home. However, we knew we were not a part of the celebration when we looked at the memory board of my brother’s life. None of us were anywhere to be found on the board.

I was determined to remember my brother in our growing up years where he always took care of my sister and me. He was our protector on many occasions. So, that is what I focused on during the memorial with any comments I made.

With this question I now realize I need to forgive my brother and his wife one more time. Since my brother is gone and his wife will not answer her phone, I choose now, with a humble prayer, to forgive both for the lost years and hurt. And I pray my brother hears my heart once again. May his wife’s own heart be healed of any lingering resentment and unforgiveness on her part.

Question 2: At what point during the last five years have you felt lost and alone?

There have been several times in the last five years I missed my daughters being nearby. I felt sad and alone at times for all the years missing out on those simple and daily encounters together. Yet, even being 200 miles and 2000 miles away, my daughters try so hard to stay in touch. I get frequent phone calls and this summer a surprise visit from my California daughter. What a beautiful memory to cherish!

Question 3: What do you want more of in your life?

I don’t have to ponder this more than a second or two. As with question two, I want more of my daughters in my life, that’s for sure!

Question 4: Who depends on you?

Again, guess who? My daughters of course! Who do they call to chat, to ask for advice, to just vent life’s frustrations? Yep, it’s Mom, and Dad too! And am I glad for it. My daughters continually add a spark to my step and day when I hear those words, “Hi Mom, can we talk?” or “Hi Mom, how are you doing?”

Question 5: Who has had the greatest impact on your life?

As related to previous article questions, in many ways my parent had the greatest impact on my life. Much of that realization happened via therapy about my childhood past. Many aspects of my behavior and meandering thoughts reflected that impact both in positive and negative ways. I am so grateful for my husband’s patience with me through those difficult years. My husband, John, has been faithful and supportive, even when it was so hard to know what to say or do on my behalf.

Question 6: Are you happy with where you are in your life? Why?

My answer is a big YES! Life with all its challenges and opportunities have been wrapped up with knowing my family is there for me and each other.

Question 7: What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now?

At 74 years old, I continue to learn that with every obstacle there is always an opportunity. The only obstacle to seeing the opportunity is my “attitude” toward any challenge or obstacle in front of me right now.

Now, it’s your turn again to describe who you want to forgive, a time in the last five years how you felt lost and alone, what you want more of in your life, who depends on you, who had the greatest impact on your life, if you are happy with where you are in your life, and the biggest obstacle standing in your way when you think of “Reflection” and your life.