With my question “Which one are you?” I need to first direct that question to myself. I confess I am what is called a “Recovering Messy.” In my early years, I always thought myself to be a well-organized type of Cleanie. In later years, I discovered I was just the opposite. I learned my intent and heart was to be organized and thorough in every way. Yet, I found myself being very selective on how I applied that intention.
That intention was sincere but misplaced with a promise to get the job done tomorrow, for sure. And behold, the days went by with other good intentions but no follow through. I was having just too much fun with other activities I considered important responsibilities . . . like accepting another project, commission, or job to do. After all, one had to work to earn a living!
Whether we find ourselves to be a Cleanie or Messie, did you know your personality behavioral style may influence your housekeeping “want to?” Sandra Felton, the master maven of housekeeping for Messies (https://www.messies.com/) skillfully offers perspective on how us Messies with frustrating but noble intentions can overcome the crisis of clutter and cleaning.
Felton defines Messies in a variety of personality or behavioral styles—Perfectionist, Rebellious, Relaxed, Sentimental, Spartan, Clean, Safe, Old-Fashioned, and Idealistic. These styles essentially combine the four basic DISC personality behavioral styles, Dominant, Influential, Steady, and Compliant in various combinations.
Remember, William Marston coined the term DISC in the 1920s after his comprehensive research on human behavior that culminated in the terms Dominant, Influential, Steady, and Compliant. For ease of discussing this topic, us Messies learn a great deal from getting a glimpse into the behavioral style of Cleanies.
For Dominant Cleanies, they are generally optimistic, take-charge, goal-oriented people. Yet, they tend to be dictatorial and impatient with others if the job isn’t done their way and on time; and do not want to be taken advantage of. As you can probably imagine, they may be a “do it myself in order to do it right” kind of person or job it out with clear, required outcomes. They are hard to change.
So, if you live or work with Dominants, and they are interfering with your life by their abrasive approach, you need to let them know about it. On the other hand, Messies really need the organizational abilities of Dominants once the tension between them is resolved. As long as Messies asks for help, then Dominants can be a real asset.
For the Influential Cleanies—is there any such a person out there? I’m not certain. Although Influentials have so many great qualities, they are often inattentive to detail. While they love people and genuinely live in the moment, they also tend to forget things that need to be done, particularly when not convenient.
In other words, most Messies are basically Influentials. This is usually the case unless the Influential person has a combined behavior with a more primary personality style, is in the middle of a major life challenge, or is simply burned out for whatever reason. Yet, these other styles seem to gravitate toward taking the time to clean and remove clutter as active therapy. For most Influential Messies, they would rather go to a party, shop, drop in on a friend for some fun the rest of the day. The stress and strain seem to simply fade away with the fun.
All the perfection the other personality styles live and breathe by drive Influentials crazy and even discourage them from trying. Yet, they need to balance their own primary “Influential” behavioral characteristics with the others to stay on task. One solution for Influentials is to hire out to get the job done and enjoy the interactive relationship all at the same time. Hopefully, the budget can handle it. Either way, Infuentials are creative thinkers and often figure out what works for them.
Have you discovered where you see yourself yet? If not, the other two personality styles, Steady and Compliant Cleanies, may be seen as yours.
For Steady Cleanies, as long as they are affirmed and secure, they do a great job in housekeeping and stick to the schedule. Remember, Steadies are easygoing people, low-keyed, patient, and accommodating. Yet, they may not be easily motivated and do not have much get-up-and-go; and can easily become a Messie. They tend to have a low-energy level and are indecisive at times.
Planning major projects or marathon cleaning is not in their vocabulary; and may, at times, border on laziness. They just don’t want to commit to something that will require more work than they want to do. Sometimes, they really don’t care if it’s neat or not. They prefer to think about things rather than actually do the job. So, clear, continuous affirmation and encouragement with any task, taken one step at a time, is on the top of the list for working with a Steady as a Cleanie or Messie. Otherwise, they will feel overwhelmed; and that only amplifies their stubborn streak that may surface.
For Compliant Cleanies, the order that things are done and the details to get them done are paramount. Their focus is “how do I specifically get this job done and is the time-line realistic?” If so, they are on task and on schedule to the very last detail. They live their best in a home that is orderly and serene. When it comes to housekeeping, they are perfectionists, and nothing a Messie does may be good enough for them. These Cleanies may also be more critical and hurtful, which is the very same thing they are sensitive about. That sensitivity only amplifies their self-criticism as a perfectionist. They will then tend to procrastinate and slip into being a Messie themselves. Again, affirmation and clarity are the keys to getting Compliants back on task and secure.
Have fun discovering each other’s complementary housekeeping personality helping clear the clutter together! And check out Felton’s latest helps tool, THE K.I.S.S. Flipper Method — Keep It Super Simple. The NEW K.I.S.S. Flipper has fresh ideas on how to move through your home, day by day, room by room, with simple choices for maintenance and organizing. It will gently guide you through the process of creating clear and shining surfaces throughout out your home! Be sure to get the whole family involved. Clutter and mess are a family affair, so cleaning and organizing should also be a family affair!