Trust – Where does it come from?

With everything going on in our nation, the word, Trust, has been at the forefront of my thoughts lately. I keep asking myself, “Where does trust come from?” For this month’s lifeskill, Reflection, where do you think trust come from?

We all know trusting someone or something has everything to do with the level of trust given. We also often just assume something is trustworthy, such as your favorite chair. With all the years you have sat in your favorite chair, you may never question that it may not hold you up. When visiting a frequented restaurant, you may simply believe the food will be great as usual. Yet, we all have experienced a day where the food served did not measure up and may even have caused some food poisoning. From that day on, you may not have the same degree of trust in that restaurant. The same is true of your favorite chair when one of the legs gives way.

When it comes to that person next to you, trust is central to all relationships. So, how do you measure trust? What standard do you use? There are some who measure various levels of trust as follows:

• Level 1 – Superficial trust – You think that person is pleasant and cool, making them friendly.
• Level 2 – “Let’s make a deal” trust – You do this for me, then I will do that for you.
• Level 3 – Reciprocal trust – You mutually trust because you both are committed to being there for each other in kindness, goodness, and encouragement.
• Level 4 – Absolute trust – You will be there for each other, no matter what happens.

These levels of trust set a standard by the kind of behavior demonstrated and the degree of commitment to each other. That commitment can be just a surface relationship as with level one. Another standard can be more contractual and often self-centered, as with level two. Levels two and three have their trust limits or boundaries. When looking at level three and four the standard is determined by what life brings your way in that relationship.

With level three, despite the kindness, goodness, and encouragement shown in the past, trust may be sacrificed when tough times show up. Trust is inseparably connected to feelings of security. It seems to be easier to assume trust when we feel secure for whatever reasons. Yet, if we were honest with ourselves, little or no trust is demonstrated at a deeper level.

Let us see how these levels impact both your personal and professional life. According to Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman’s article, The 3 Elements of Trust (Harvard Business Review, February 05, 2019), a standard is set for trust in one’s professional life. “As a leader, you want the people in your organization to trust you. And with good reason. In our coaching with leaders, we often see that trust is a leading indicator of whether others evaluate them positively or negatively. But creating that trust or, perhaps more importantly, reestablishing it when you’ve lost it isn’t always that straightforward. Fortunately, by looking at data from the 360 assessments of 87,000 leaders, we were able to identify three key clusters of items that are often the foundation for trust.”

Zenger and Folkman’s three elements of trust assessment shows the highest score resulted when all three elements were present on the job.

1. Positive Relationships (Stay in touch on the issues and concerns of others. Balance results with concern for others. Generate cooperation between others. Resolve conflict with others. Give honest feedback in a helpful way.)
2. Good Judgment/Expertise (use good judgment when making decisions. Others trust their ideas & opinions. Others seek their opinions. Their knowledge and expertise make an important contribution to achieving results. Can anticipate and respond quickly to problems.)
3. Consistency (A role model. Walk the talk. Honor commitments & keep promises. Follow through on commitments. Willing to go above and beyond what needs to be done.)

One thing is evident to me. These three elements are essential in our personal lives as well, particularly at levels three and four, Reciprocal Trust & Absolute Trust. We may also be surprised along the way when these elements are seen in relationships at levels one and two, encouraging those relationships to advance to level three and four. This brings me back to my question, “Where does trust come from?” All levels of trust are wrapped up in our own individual core values we live by, both personally and professionally. These demonstrated values are how we determine our level of trust with each other.

When God is our ultimate source of security, we can also face our vulnerabilities with gratitude and a trust that is trustworthy, giving us sustaining peace in the midst. May you experience this kind of profound and absolute trust.