Possessions & a Colonoscopy . . . are you kidding?!

posted in: CYJ Blog, Lifeskills, Possessions

I just couldn’t pass this up since I braved having one this week . . . a colonoscopy that is. Of course, you ask “How does this month’s lifeskill, Possessions, have anything to do with a colonoscopy?!” Here are some hints:

  • Clothes aren’t everything when handed a patient gown! And like possessions, definitely doesn’t make the man or woman!
  • Swallowing down the Prep and what comes after (or actually leaves you) is always a great motivator for doing a thorough cleaning of self and other “obvious” possessions nearby like nothing else!
  • Taking inventory of your innards is something not to Facebook or Twitter a video, please!
  • Spring cleaning out the pipes is not quite like vacuuming up the dirt, dust, and grime; but close and personal!
  • Fixing any leaks in the hose is for the expert, that’s for sure!
  • The one time you can relax, even sleep, while others work on your parts! And like me, you may in your groggy recovery state say all kinds of “wonderful, no holds barred” gems to the anesthesiologist, nurses, and the one who drives you home! 
  • Focus on one of life’s unique precious possessions, your body . . . worth a lifetime of maintenance!

I could go on and on . . . oops! That sounds like another one to me! Sorry for that. I will try my best to shift my focus and relieve you of any more “gutter-like” humor. Oops! There I go again. Help! I think I need some trauma counseling to root out and get past this “crud drinking” procedure that has possessed me! Oops! there it is again. Need to avoid words like “go on and on,” and “relieve.” Although, they are a little more subtle. Maybe that means there is hope for me!

So, while I am in that blissful place of hope and so grateful this colonic adventure is over at least for the next five to ten years, I think I will go shopping. I am feeling so skinny right now that a new outfit is exactly what my “soul” doctor ordered. See, I told you. There is a direct connection between the two topics . . . Possessions and Colonoscopy!

I also leave you with these few gems a doctor claimed patients said during their procedure.

“Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!”
“Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there.”
“Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”