The next seven powerful questions for this week are again gleaned from Marc Chernoff’s summary, Thought Provoking Questions to Ask Yourself in 2018 (source: Bob Tiede at At Leading With Questions). Let’s see how each question offered by wisdom leaders around the nation and world challenge us with this month’s lifeskill, Relationships & Core Values.
Question 1: What are your top five personal values?
I wish this question asked for ten. Choosing from my top ten wasn’t easy. Here they are: Integrity, Compassion, Faith, Health, Creativity. Integrity can mean any number of things, such as being honest and truthful. I consider these two elements of integrity to be at the top. Yet, our human frailties often trip us up, particularly in relationships where we are challenged to be honest. Honesty can risk any relationship. I believe that my second personal value, Compassion, can provide the relationship with a safe place for any honesty needing to be spoken.
My third value, Faith, needs to be at the core of all personal values we may choose. Our faith and daily trust in God sustains us through any challenge. I would be lost without that foundation of a personal God promising to always take care of me. That brings me to the next value, Health. My physical wellbeing has been at the center of my faith journey for most of my life. Navigating both conventional and alternative healthcare has been an adventure, requiring me to trust God to direct me all the way. With recent health challenges, I continue my wellness journey trusting. That brings me to my fifth value, Creativity. When it comes to juggling one’s health, creativity can play a crucial role in who to add to my wellness team. Then, being a fiber artist for more than 30 plus years, weaving has offered me a wonderful and creative therapy outlet.
Question 2: Why must you love someone enough to let them go?
The opposite of letting go is holding on, sometimes tenaciously. We often try to hold on because they fulfill a need that we think cannot be filled with anyone or anything else. We also tend to end up trying to control them in the mix. One of the greatest tests of loving someone is to let them go. This is particularly true when they want to be let go from the relationship. As painful as it may be, “letting go” love will heal the grief through time and gratitude for the relationship and lessons learned.
Question 3: Why are you, you?
I am a compilation and fusion of every good, bad, and ugly thing that has been part of my life. With my genetics and life experiences, one of the most beautiful outcomes is coming through them. I can look back to see how my faith and those who love me made all the difference in the journey.
Question 4: If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, who would you ask and what would you ask?
This question is a hard one for me. Is it for you? This question saddens me since I would ask my mother, who passed away years ago. I would ask her to tell me more about her growing up and young adult years. Unfortunately, many memories were never shared.
Question 5: Would you ever give up your life to save someone else?
Wow! What a question. I could say yes. Yet, would I if presented with the challenge for real? To be honest, I don’t know. If it were for my husband, daughters, or some other loved one, I would say yes. It would be scary almost petrifying. But, yes, I would. Now, for a stranger, I don’t know. I know for anyone I would definitely be praying for that person and myself! I would be asking God if there is another way. Then if not, I would believe God would give me peace to say yes before I take the leap.
Question 6: What are three moral rules you will never break?
I never want to seek revenge on anyone, steal from someone, nor physically harm someone.
Question 7: What does it mean to allow another person to truly love you?
True and real love means I allow the person to be honest and safe with each other. This kind of love is also filled with patience, compassion, and humility for one another. Both of us have learned to know each other well and choose not to control each other. We have also learned to forgive and be forgiven.